…while I generally feel it is preferable each particular sex to instruct their own (i.e. women should advise women and men should advise men), I will take this opportunity (in as humble a manner as possible), to advise women (from my own personal experience) as to how they might better understand, and thus better serve, the opposite sex. Obviously this is a joint project, and can only be accomplished when both sexes mutually operate in a spirit of charity and generosity.
I read this recently and was amazed to discover that I already knew some of it. I must have been paying attention for the last 20 years. 🙂
Each one of these points arise from my own, daily experience. Surely others have had different experiences and have different ways of viewing these things. For those people, I would invite you feel to comment below! The key here isn’t so much saying that all menare like this and all women are like that. The idea is rather to reflect on our lives and see how we can help one another to be better understood and thus love on another with greater freedom and comprehension.
Disclaimer: these apply in a general way– exceptions duly noted.
I’d recommend the whole thing, but here are the headings (with my pleasing comments):
1. Just because a man is a little quiet doesn’t mean there’s necessarily something wrong
Oh. I see.
2. The best way to change a man’s behavior is not by nagging him, but rather by appealing to his deepest sense of virtue
I just learned this recently. Two decades. That’s not too bad, right?
3. Men are visual creatures
4. Men have a “happy place”
Uh-huh. No further comment.
5. Men take their “play” as seriously as their work
Sounds about right.
6. Men equate work with worth
Yes. Only took one decade to work that out. #DoingWell!
7. Men need to know that they are needed
Yes and they actually are. This is why I hate feminism. ‘Nuff said.
8. If you treat men like children, they will happily oblige
I wouldn’t know. Could be true.
9. If you have high expectations for your relationship with him, whatever you do, don’t set the moral bar low
10. The way to a man’s heart really is through his stomach
Seriously, if you read nothing else – read this!
Is it true that “Men are kind of lonely creatures, and even when they are lucky enough to have a family, they can feel at times as if they are on the outside looking in”? Really?
Gee I feel sad.
Thus, it is important for women to understand that the lonely side of a man can become wretched and painfully lost if this side of him isn’t tended to. What I mean to say is that a man needs the maternal warmth of a women in order to feel connected and cared for. If he doesn’t receive that warmth, he may be tempted to go in search of it in ways detrimental to the most important relationships in his life. However, men can be particularly vulnerable to this temptation after children are born, or even when his spouse is gone all the time. You may say this goes both ways, but for a man it holds particular weight, because his her feminine presence is the key to his feeling connected to his purpose in the world. Actually, I’m getting lonely just thinking about this, so let’s move on.
I mostly agree with this. But I don’t think it’s *maternal* warmth every man wants. Womanly, yes. It’s a heart thing, I think. I base that on what other men have said. I don’t wish to say the author does not understand his own feelings, however.
11. Men don’t want to listen to your problems, they want to fix them
*sigh* After beating my husband into shape over this I finally worked out he’s good at solving my problems. #WhoKnew?
12. Men tend to see the forest, while women tend to see the trees
Explains a lot.
13. Men tend to understate their feelings, while women tend to overstate them
14. “You can’t possibly understand me…”
We must learn to communicate well. It solves so many problems and keeps the relationship intact.
15. Romance takes work on both ends
Reasonable expectations help. Saying “thank you” for everything he does really helps.
16. Memo to women: stop trying to become as vulgar and barbaric as men
Can I get an “Amen”? Working on it. Yet another reason to hate feminism AKA “Women behaving badly.”
17. Men learn masculinity from their father
= Dads are important. (Still another reason to hate feminism).